Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.

Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.

You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.

You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.

I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.

There are many self-help books by Ph.D.s, but I hold a different degree: an I.B.T.I.A.-I've Been Through It All. This degree comes not on parchment but gauze, and it entitles me to tell you that there is a way to get through any misfortune.

I think I'm in a business where you have to look good, and it's totally youth-oriented.