Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had the baby. He was there for the birth. It would've been nice if he was there for the conception.

All Angelina Jolie wants to do is do good for people. And she was saying to me: If I could just make one person happy, Joan, I'll die satisfied. I said: Easy! Just give Jennifer Aniston back her husband.

I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me "sir."

I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.

My body is dropping so fast, my gynecologist wears a hard hat.

I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.