Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.

"I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'"

[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.

Dogs are easier to love than people; they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.