Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.

On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.

If you don't want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.

I’m never without a bandage.

You don’t marry for love. What does love got to do with marriage? I spit on love and marriage. You marry for money.

Run scared ... and they never catch you.

I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.