I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.

Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'

Before we make love, my husband takes a pain killer.

A female salmon lays three thousand eggs a year - and has yet to receive a Mother's Day card from one of them.

The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.

Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?

I'm sure some of you are wondering whether my breasts are real. Let me just explain to you. This one is, this one isn't.