I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.

Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.

Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had the baby. He was there for the birth. It would've been nice if he was there for the conception.

As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something Blew.'

I think it was Cosby who also said to me, 'If only 2 percent of the world thinks you're funny, you'll still fill stadiums for the rest of your life.'

All Angelina Jolie wants to do is do good for people. And she was saying to me: If I could just make one person happy, Joan, I'll die satisfied. I said: Easy! Just give Jennifer Aniston back her husband.