I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.

How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.

I'm sure some of you are wondering whether my breasts are real. Let me just explain to you. This one is, this one isn't.

I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.

Before we make love, my husband takes a pain killer.

I now consider it a good day when I don't step on my boobs.

The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.