Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.

I started my career in a town so small the local clinic was called Fred's Hospital and Grill.

Mel Gibson's father doesn't think there was a Holocaust? Great. I don't think there's a movie. We're even.

How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.

I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.

Life is very tough, you know. You sit at a dinner party and talk to the person on your right or your left, you're going to hear something terribly sad, or horrible, or awful. And you just laugh at everything. I think it was Winston Churchill who said something like, any time you get someone to laugh, you're giving them a little vacation. It's so true. You laugh for one second, you're happy. I find in negotiations, everybody's sitting around looking so serious, I say something funny and it breaks the ice. And it's like, now we can get through this.

I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.