I think it was Cosby who also said to me, 'If only 2 percent of the world thinks you're funny, you'll still fill stadiums for the rest of your life.'

Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery; come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!

I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.

The Palestinians cannot throw rockets and expect people not to defend themselves

I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.

I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.

Mick Jagger could French-kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips.