Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on.
I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.
I know a lot more old drunks than old doctors.
They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.
I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin.
A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.