They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.

If you drink like a fish, don't drive: swim.

I met with an accident on the way to the track; I arrived safely.

Boys, I have been rich and I have been poor, and believe me being rich is better.

We can afford almost any mistake once.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.