There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

I never went to school beyond the 3rd grade, but my mother taught me the difference between right and wrong.

I don’t drink anymore - just the same amount.

We can afford almost any mistake once.

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.

I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.