There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

Boys, I have been rich and I have been poor, and believe me being rich is better.

I know a lot more old drunks than old doctors.

I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin.