A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for U.S. Steel.

Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on.

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

I don’t drink anymore - just the same amount.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.