A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

We can afford almost any mistake once.

I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin.

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.

I know a lot more old drunks than old doctors.

I drink to forget I drink.