They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.
I drink to forget I drink.
Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.
I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.
You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.
I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.