I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.

We can afford almost any mistake once.

I don’t drink anymore - just the same amount.

Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money.