I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

I don’t drink anymore - just the same amount.

I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin.

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.