I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.

If you drink like a fish, don't drive: swim.

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.

I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

I met with an accident on the way to the track; I arrived safely.

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.