I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

I never went to school beyond the 3rd grade, but my mother taught me the difference between right and wrong.

You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to roll over and float on his back, then you got something!

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people.

Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for U.S. Steel.