I love coming to D.C. I think it's a very unusual city. It's so fascinating that it's this weird place that everything thinks of as the capital of the country, there is so much international business, political stuff that is connected to that part of the country that it has a very charred atmosphere.

This country has a mental health problem disguised as a gun problem, and a tyranny problem disguised as a security problem.

Houston people are way cool. They're smart, they know how to have a good time, and they have the hottest chicks on the planet there.

I have this thing built into my contract that the club has to put up a sign that says my act "contains the strongest language and material content imaginable," but, believe it or not, I still get complaints. People want you to be what they want you to be. If they see you on TV and that's what they like, they want you to be EXACTLY like that when they see you live. And if you're not, some of them get upset.

I prefer older people to college kids [as audience] for the most part. I want people with life experience, people that understand where I'm coming from.

We live in a society that makes it really easy for these pussies to get by.

Stand-up is still my favorite, but the podcast is a close second. It's so fun, and it's given me the oppor-tunity to have three-hour conversations with people I wouldn't have otherwise been able to talk to. When I talked to Maynard Keenan from Tool, I almost couldn't believe it was happening.