It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks.

You're sort of programmed a certain way because of your environment. That's all you know. But we don't have that anymore because of the internet. Because of the internet we're all communicating with each other all across the board, so you're getting information from people all around the world, hitting a much more diverse slice of culture.

Also I can come up with new bits - people yell stuff out and it's a new subject or a subject that I've been thinking about that I haven't done onstage yet and I'll just run with it.

My company is called Talking Monkey, Inc. It's because that's what I think all people are: talking monkeys.

I think it would do a lot of people good just to realize how vulnerable they are.

If someone plays a brooding actor in a film, people think they're brooding all the time.

A lot of times, you beat a person who beat a person who can beat you. I mean, it doesn't make any sense.