Haters...are all failures. It's 100% across the board. No one who is truly brilliant at anything is a hater.

I had a sense of who I was before I got famous.

When someone comes along and expresses him or herself as freely as they think, people flock to it. They enjoy it.

I talk so much about sex that girls just want to meet me.

If I could make the same amount of money doing standup it would be no contest. The problem is that if you do make that kind of money doing standup, it's not in clubs, it's in big auditoriums and large venues, and I really think something is lost when you do standup for a big crowd.

People for the most part can smell lies, at least I thought that until I saw audiences applaud at Carlos Mencia.

Houston Alexander is for real!