Haters...are all failures. It's 100% across the board. No one who is truly brilliant at anything is a hater.

Not all comedy clubs or situations are ideal, especially when you're first coming up and I think that's good for you. Eventually you get to express your real personality.

I like LA because it has a giant supply of great comedians.

Being a celebrity or anything else where you're really ambitious, it's really a game to see how successful you can get.

The number one reason why marijuana is illegal is because the Pharma Cartel does not want you to grow your own medicine. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper. The first car ever made ran on hemp oil. Hemp seeds are also the healthiest food on the planet with the highest protein content out of any plant.

Live your life like you're the hero in your movie and right now.

The planet's spinning a thousand miles an hour around this gigantic nuclear explosion while these people roll these machines with rubber tires over this hard surface that we've laid down over the planet so that we can easily move ourselves back and forth.