You want to talk about the word faggot because it really offends you? Well you're a douchebag.

There's a classic story I tell about when I did the Man Show about the retarded conversations that you have with the executive producers and the network.

If I could make the same amount of money doing standup it would be no contest. The problem is that if you do make that kind of money doing standup, it's not in clubs, it's in big auditoriums and large venues, and I really think something is lost when you do standup for a big crowd.

I've actually been doing stand up for more than 20 years. I started in 1988. It's almost 30 years! Which is crazy.

Martial arts are a vehicle for developing your human potential.

I never in my wildest imagination dreamed that I would somehow become a sports commentator.

The planet's spinning a thousand miles an hour around this gigantic nuclear explosion while these people roll these machines with rubber tires over this hard surface that we've laid down over the planet so that we can easily move ourselves back and forth.