A unicorn is a donkey from the future

I think stand is better now than it's ever been. I think it's the greatest time ever to do standup comedy.

Martial arts are a vehicle for developing your human potential.

I talk so much about sex that girls just want to meet me.

Haters...are all failures. It's 100% across the board. No one who is truly brilliant at anything is a hater.

I prefer older people to college kids [as audience] for the most part. I want people with life experience, people that understand where I'm coming from.

People for the most part can smell lies.