One of the great things about Houston is that they police themselves. It's the way Boston was in the '80s. No hacks or thieves are tolerated in the community, and that's HUGE.

When you snatch little pieces of other people's lives and try to palm them off as your own, that's more disgusting than anything. Robin Williams is a huge thief. Denis Leary is a huge thief. His whole stand-up career is based on Bill Hicks, a brilliant guy who died years ago.

People for the most part can smell lies, at least I thought that until I saw audiences applaud at Carlos Mencia.

My company is called Talking Monkey, Inc. It's because that's what I think all people are: talking monkeys.

If you're dumb enough to do crack, you're supposed to die. It's evolution.

I really never had any ambitions to be a standup comic. I was talked into it by guys that I used to work out with.

I never want to compromise my act just to get a laugh.