One of the great things about Houston is that they police themselves. It's the way Boston was in the '80s. No hacks or thieves are tolerated in the community, and that's HUGE.

I always try to look at conflicts from as many different angles as is humanly possible, and in a lot of ways there is no one answer.

My company is called Talking Monkey, Inc. It's because that's what I think all people are: talking monkeys.

I don't care if you're gay, black, Chinese, straight. That means nothing to me. It's all an illusion.

So instead of investing your time in a passion, you’ve sold your life to work for an uncaring machine that doesn’t understand you. That’s the problem with our society. And what’s the reward? Go home and get a big TV.

Comedy is really not like any other art form in that it's very specialized and varied in it's content, but generic in it's title.

I was like, "This is a new thing that the gay people have decided? That's the gayest thing I've ever heard in my life." You can't do that. You can't decide that a word is forbidden now collectively amongst your group of human beings, that the word is a slanderous evil nasty word about homosexuals. It's not, the word doesn't mean that. And sometimes it's a good word to use in comedy. That's what your friend has to realize when he's at a bar just yelling out the word.