I talk so much about sex that girls just want to meet me.

But it's hard for a chick to do comedy. It's not as open for them.

A lot of times, you beat a person who beat a person who can beat you. I mean, it doesn't make any sense.

People are scared man, they're scared of the void.

What people like are things to laugh at. Funny shows. It's all in the execution, the writing and the characters, not the setting. And the writing and the execution and the characters are GREAT on (Everybody Loves Raymond).

My company is called Talking Monkey, Inc. It's because that's what I think all people are: talking monkeys.

I was like, "This is a new thing that the gay people have decided? That's the gayest thing I've ever heard in my life." You can't do that. You can't decide that a word is forbidden now collectively amongst your group of human beings, that the word is a slanderous evil nasty word about homosexuals. It's not, the word doesn't mean that. And sometimes it's a good word to use in comedy. That's what your friend has to realize when he's at a bar just yelling out the word.