Like any tool [drugs] can help you or hurt you.

I read the things that scientists have figured out, and apply what they say is beneficial, but at the end of the day I'm the wrong person to get unchallenged nutritional advice from.

I think there is more comedians now than ever, more venues now than ever. There are stand-ups who live in towns where they don't have many comedy clubs where they are organizing more comedy nights in bars. I just think this is a fantastic time for stand up.

When I first went onstage I even had a suit jacket on with the sleeves rolled up because that's what I saw on TV or at the Improv that everybody did.

If you're dumb enough to do crack, you're supposed to die. It's evolution.

I talk so much about sex that girls just want to meet me.

I always try to look at conflicts from as many different angles as is humanly possible, and in a lot of ways there is no one answer.