If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.

Life is strange. You keep moving and keep growing. Before you know it, you look back and think, "What was that?"

Most of my bits are long stream-of-consciousness- type things, and when I'm doing them onstage, other places to take the theme or idea will hit me, and I just go with it.

Omigawa is moving forward like a karate robot

People say you can abuse marijuana. You can abuse cheeseburgers. Does that mean we should close Burger Kings.

I have this thing built into my contract that the club has to put up a sign that says my act "contains the strongest language and material content imaginable," but, believe it or not, I still get complaints. People want you to be what they want you to be. If they see you on TV and that's what they like, they want you to be EXACTLY like that when they see you live. And if you're not, some of them get upset.

You could smell my ass from mars.