Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

My head is buried in the sands of tomorrow, while my tail feathers are singed by the hot sun of today.

The good die young, because they see it's no use living if you have got to be good.

If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.

Busy yourselves with this, you damned walruses, while the rest of use proceed with the libretto.

My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere.