The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

My head is buried in the sands of tomorrow, while my tail feathers are singed by the hot sun of today.

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.

My only regret in the theater is that I could never sit out front and watch me.

I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.

The good die young, because they see it's no use living if you have got to be good.