My head is buried in the sands of tomorrow, while my tail feathers are singed by the hot sun of today.

The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.

Mr. [John] Barrymore's smile was the smile of an actor who hates actors, and who knows that he is going to kill two or three before the play is over. I am not an actor-killer, but I like my Hamlets to dislike actors, if you know what I mean, and I think you don't.

You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried; you float.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Method acting? There are quite a few methods. Mine involves a lot of talent, a glass, and some cracked ice.

My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere.