Technology frightens me to death. It's designed by engineers to impress other engineers, and they always come with instruction booklets that are written by engineers for other engineers - which is why almost no technology ever works.

It's not the despair, Laura. I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed.

When I was in school, I was beaten every 30 minutes. It never did me any harm except for some psychological mal-adjustments and blurred vision.

If you are leaping a ravine, the moment of takeoff is a bad time to be considering alternative strategies.

Bureaucrats shouldn't be in charge of comedy.

When you've only got few days of rehearsal before you're in the studio, it's wonderful to start off with people that you have good, friendly, tolerable relationships to start with, for the simple reason that you don't have to spend 24 hours figuring out how sensitive they are, and can you give them a line reading, or how do you have to give them direction.