I don't want to have to start being unselfish again. The great thing about being on your own is you do what you damned well like.

If I like chocolate it won't surprise you that I have a few chocolates in my fridge, but if you find out I've got 16 warehouses full of chocolate, you'd think I was insane. All these rich guys are insane, obsessive compulsive twits obsessed with money - money is all they think about - they're all nuts.

Because, as we all know, it’s easier to do trivial things that are urgent than it is to do important things that are not urgent, like thinking. And it’s also easier to do little things we know we can do than to start on big things that we’re not so sure about.

What I've always wanted to do is be as funny as possible.

You have to create boundaries of space and then you have to create boundaries of time.

Most of the bad taste I've been accused of has been generic bad taste; it's been making fun of an idea as opposed to a person.

You can't make Christ funny. He's self-aware, he's too flexible within the situation. It's rigidity, it's when the ego takes over and the behavior becomes inappropriate that it becomes funny.