What I've always wanted to do is be as funny as possible.

The main evolutionary significance of humor is that it gets us from the closed mode to the open mode quicker than anything else.

If I like chocolate it won't surprise you that I have a few chocolates in my fridge, but if you find out I've got 16 warehouses full of chocolate, you'd think I was insane. All these rich guys are insane, obsessive compulsive twits obsessed with money - money is all they think about - they're all nuts.

I have several times made a poor choice by avoiding a necessary confrontation.

A lot of humour is about just enjoying life and spontaneity and because you make a joke that puts somebody down - we're always teasing each other. It's with affection. It's nasty teasing that we - not all teasing; nasty teasing you cut out.

What is absurd is not the teachings of the founders of religion, it's what followers subsequently make of it.

The Americans are so much more positive. They are much more in love with success. In Britain, they're a fairly envious bunch, and they love it if you fail.