I enjoy the oohs! and aahs! from the gallery when I hit my drives. But I'm getting pretty tired of the awws! and uhhs! when I miss the putt.

Do I have to know rules and all that crap? Then forget it.

I was never able to have three of four beers. One's too many, and ten just ain't enough. Basically it's the way I've been since high school.

There are probably some things I could do to keep my flexibility up, but I'd rather smoke, drink diet Cokes and eat.

I don't care what anybody says. The first tournament is not the hardest one to win. It's always the second one.

This fitness thing is blown out of proportion. What am I going to do on a treadmill - smoke a cigarette and drink a diet Coke?

You're playing competitive, and it's always better to play four competitive rounds than it is two because you sit there for a weekend and then you start all over again.