As a general rule, no one should ever be allowed to say there is no history of racial tension here, because that sentence has never been true anywhere on Earth.

I don't know if there is some psychological thing of wanting to know where your doctor got his degree from before he comes into the medical room.

Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'

I do one accent - my own. I can make it louder or quieter. That is the sum total of my vocal range. I thought I could do an American accent until I tried it in front of an American - the expression of horror is still burnt onto my retinas.

The British media is sinking down, as the American news media has lowered the bar for all of humanity. British news media is definitely trying to stoop down to that level. Everyone is stooping to the lowest common denominator.

When you see people say crazy things on our show, they mean this stuff,and that's easy to forget: They're not joking.

You know that things are not going well when you lose the moral high ground to a TMZ reporter.