Net neutrality: The only two words that promise more boredom in the English language are 'featuring Sting,'

I think it might honestly be time for the Sunshine State to officially change its motto to the Worst State.

I wanted to be a soccer player. I knew that couldn't happen.

When you do stand-up, you're just concerned with trying to leave with some semblance of human dignity at the end of your performance.

I do not want to leave in [U.S.] ... I cannot make that clear enough to immigration authorities who may be listening to this interview. I don't want to leave, so please don't make me.

My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like the crisp language of a queen's butler.

I would hate to meet myself at 15.