Politics has become infused with narcissism in America.

People are always going to say stupid things, and you're always going to be able to make jokes about that, but it should be the last thing you add in, because it's the easiest thing.

The poverty line is like the age of consent: if you find yourself parsing exactly where it is, you’ve probably already done something very, very wrong.

I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes.

We invented words; we'll tell you how they're supposed to sound.

I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything.

There's never any time I think I'm a real journalist, because I don't have any of the qualifications or the intentions for that.