I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into.

Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you.

We invented words; we'll tell you how they're supposed to sound.

The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.

I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.

I would much rather America was a more stable, wonderful place. You know, I love it.

A Southern accent is not a club in my bag.