I would much rather America was a more stable, wonderful place. You know, I love it.

I feel non-stop Brit shame!

Veterans' issues are quite close to my heart. I find it quite hard to talk about, actually.

Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.

Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh.

I think deep down, this planet yearns for the days of the British Empire again. They long once more to be treated that badly, that politely. We did far worse things than you can possibly dream of, but we did it with that certainly gentlemanly swagger... Dreadfully sorry, but we seem to have crushed your entire continent's infrastructure. Allow me to make it up to you by offering you a job 4,000 miles away. No, no, I insist.

I'm always interested in audience interaction. Not so much aggressive audience interaction - I'm genuinely interested in how people see things.