People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on The Daily Show ... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.

Net neutrality: The only two words that promise more boredom in the English language are 'featuring Sting,'

I think deep down, this planet yearns for the days of the British Empire again. They long once more to be treated that badly, that politely. We did far worse things than you can possibly dream of, but we did it with that certainly gentlemanly swagger... Dreadfully sorry, but we seem to have crushed your entire continent's infrastructure. Allow me to make it up to you by offering you a job 4,000 miles away. No, no, I insist.

Veterans' issues are quite close to my heart. I find it quite hard to talk about, actually.

The disconnect between America and its military is shocking.

When you do stand-up, you're just concerned with trying to leave with some semblance of human dignity at the end of your performance.

Pumpkin spice lattes are egg nog for morning people.