People are always going to say stupid things, and you're always going to be able to make jokes about that, but it should be the last thing you add in, because it's the easiest thing.

I can't relax. I find vacations problematic.

The disconnect between America and its military is shocking.

I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley -- the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you're in your Vegas years. You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet. But you're still the King.

Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.

Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'

The British press are a group of unremitting scumbags. And sometimes they use that scumbaggery to good ends, and often not.