I really love stand-up. I'm more than happy to do it for nothing. I've come to America to do it for nothing. It's the American Dream: Work for free.

Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'

If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight.

I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything.

The Confederate flag is one of those things that should only be seen on t-shirts, belt buckles and bumper stickers to help the rest of us identify the worst people in the world.

There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers.

By any rational metric, I am boring.