The best way to thaw a frozen turkey? Blow in it's ear.

The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.

Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.

I loved the towns I grew up in as a boy, and after I became a celebrity, I went back several times. I would have had the time of my life seeing the old places and the old faces again, but the attitude of those same people was, "I guess you're so big we bore you now."

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.

People are brought up to think, "It's nice to be modest. It's nice to hide your light under a bushel." Well, bullshit! I've never bought that. In my business, the only thing you've really got is your talent; it's the only thing you have to sell.