I loved the towns I grew up in as a boy, and after I became a celebrity, I went back several times. I would have had the time of my life seeing the old places and the old faces again, but the attitude of those same people was, "I guess you're so big we bore you now."

That would have been a great ticket, Reagan and Ford - an actor and a stuntman.

I see a lot of new faces. Especially on the old faces.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

Last night, it was so cold, the flashers in New York were only describing themselves.

The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.

Only lie about the future.