George Burns has been on my show twenty or thirty times, or maybe more. How can you turn down a guy that age?

I don't run with anybody's herd. I don't like crowds. I don't like going to fancy places. I don't like the whole nightclub scene. Cocktail parties drive me mad. So I do my job and I stay away from the rest of it.

I can't go anywhere without being bugged by somebody. I'd love to just hike out down the street, or drop in a restaurant, or wander in the park, or take my kids somewhere without collecting a trail of people. But I can't.

If God didn't want man to hunt, He wouldn't have given us plaid shirts.

I owe one thing to my public - the best performance I can give.

Did you know Richard Nixon is the only president whose formal portrait was painted by a police sketch artist?

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.