George Burns has been on my show twenty or thirty times, or maybe more. How can you turn down a guy that age?

Ronald Reagan just signed the new tax law. But I think he was in Hollywood too long. He signed it, 'Best wishes, Ronald Reagan.'

I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive.

Happiness is being stuck in an elevator and discovering the ravishing blonde with you is a liquor salesman with a case of samples.

I have no use for eight houses, 88 cars and 500 suits. I can't eat but one steak at a time. I don't want but one woman. It's silly to have as one's sole object in life just making money, accumulating wealth.

George Burns has been on my show twenty or thirty times, or maybe more. How can you turn down a guy that age?

Egyptian President Sadat had a belly dancer entertain President Nixon at a state dinner. Mr. Nixon was really impressed. He hadn't seen contortions like that since Rose Mary Woods.