I see a lot of new faces. Especially on the old faces.

I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.

George Burns has been on my show twenty or thirty times, or maybe more. How can you turn down a guy that age?

People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'

I am one of the lucky people in the world; I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.