We have two kinds of air: regular and chunky style.
I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.
The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.
In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.
According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.
Happiness is seeing your son drafted the same day he's been accepted to an expensive college.