Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak.

Like their parents, kids flock to see James Bond and Derek Flint movies - outrageously antiheroic heroes who break all the taboos, making attractive the very things the kids are told they shouldn't do themselves.

Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.

The best way to thaw a frozen turkey? Blow in it's ear.

Who cares what entertainers on the air think about international affairs? Who would want to hear me about Vietnam? They can hear all they want from people with reason to be respected as knowledgeable.

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

I never analyze it. Analyzing it would just be a waste of time. I just go out and do it.