Talking about sexual morality, I wouldn't agree that it's declining, but it's certainly changing. Young and old, we are very much in the process of taking a fresh look at the whole issue of morality. The only decline that's taking place - and it's about time - is in the old puritanical concept that sex is equated with sin.

I am taking the applause sign home, putting it in the bedroom.

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.

People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'

I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.

Do you know my dream? I really want to become an aluminum-siding salesman.