Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.

I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.

The price of Christmas toys is outrageous - a hundred dollars, two hundred dollars for video games for the youngsters. I remember a Christmas years ago when my son was a kid. I bought him a tank. It was about a hundred dollars, a lot of money in those days. It was the kind of tank you could actually get inside and ride in. He played in the box it came in. It taught me a very valuable lesson. Next year he got a box. And I got a hundred dollars' worth of scotch.

I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.

I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive.

I heard from my cat's lawyer today; my cat wants $12,000 a week for Tender Vittles.

That would have been a great ticket, Reagan and Ford - an actor and a stuntman.