They say atomic rad-i-ation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is, so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them.

Ronald Reagan just signed the new tax law. But I think he was in Hollywood too long. He signed it, 'Best wishes, Ronald Reagan.'

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.

I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.

The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'