Happiness is seeing your son drafted the same day he's been accepted to an expensive college.
Johnny CarsonWhat's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
Johnny CarsonI know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive.
Johnny CarsonI play my life straight - the way I see it. I'm grateful to audiences for watching me and for enjoying what I do - but I'm not one of those who believe that a successful entertainer is made by the public, as is so often said.
Johnny CarsonDemocracy is the eagle on the back of a dollar bill, with 13 arrows in one claw, 13 leaves on a branch, 13 tail feathers, and 13 stars over its head - this signifies that when the white man came to this country, it was bad luck for the Indians, bad luck for the trees, bad luck for the wildlife, and lights out for the American eagle.
Johnny Carson