The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.

When turkeys mate they think of swans.

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.

Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.

There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.

Air Canada. That's a good name for a Canadian airline.

I owe one thing to my public - the best performance I can give.