The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.

As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.

I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.

Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.

The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.

Entertainment is like any other major industry; it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made; if you can't, you're out.