He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.
My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
Everybody I meet in public seems to want to audition for me. If I ask a guy what time it is, he'll sing it to me.