I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

I see a lot of new faces. Especially on the old faces.

George Burns has been on my show twenty or thirty times, or maybe more. How can you turn down a guy that age?

From the time I was a little kid, I was always shy. Performing was when I was outgoing. So I guess I am a loner. I get claustrophobia if a lot of people are around.

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.

He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.

I hated my last boss. He asked, Why are you two hours late? I said, I fell downstairs. He said, That doesn't take two hours.