As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.

I never analyze it. Analyzing it would just be a waste of time. I just go out and do it.

People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'

Your chances of getting hit by lighting go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say "Storms suck!!

I am one of the lucky people in the world; I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.

I am taking the applause sign home, putting it in the bedroom.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.