Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Happiness is discovering the prune juice your doctor ordered you to drink has fermented.

Entertainment is like any other major industry; it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made; if you can't, you're out.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

I've worked ever since I was a kid with a two-bit kit of magic tricks trying to improve my skills at entertaining whatever public I had - and to make myself ready, whenever the breaks came, to entertain a wider and more demanding public.

I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.

In 1932, lame duck president Herbert Hoover was so desperate to remain in the White House that he dressed up as Eleanor Roosevelt. When FDR discovered the hoax in 1936, the two men decided to stay together for the sake of the children.